Measure content performance. Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. Getting married changes your financial life in profound ways. And while your credit score remains individual, your future choices could be changed by what your spouse brings into the financial picture. But the decisions that you and your future spouse make about how to handle money will have long-term repercussions for you—not just as individuals, but as a couple, whether you choose to combine your finances completely or keep certain things separate.
Your choices will have not only financial implications but also emotional and legal ones. A little preparation now will pay off handsomely later. Disclose all assets and liabilities including those from a previous marriage, if applicable, or responsibilities that you have for members of your immediate or extended family.
Both of you should obtain your credit reports and credit scores from all three credit bureaus. If one partner has considerably more assets or earning power than the other, then a prenuptial agreement may be in order. These contracts can protect premarital assets and provide for children from previous marriages.
They can also establish responsibility for debts acquired before marriage and prearrange spousal support in case of divorce. So, if either of you has poor credit , come up with a plan for improving it. You can be co-borrowers and use both of your assets to qualify if you ever apply for an automobile loan or a mortgage together.
When spouses borrow jointly but one has poor credit, a lender may charge higher interest and fees than the spouse with good credit could have been eligible for on their own. Even before you set up house together, create a household budget that will help you achieve your financial goals.
Now is the time to think about your answers to questions like these:. How much you will spend on the wedding and who will pay for it are two of the first big financial questions that engaged couples need to answer together. Your decisions can have a major effect on how the marriage starts off, which can set the tone for your partnership. Traditionally, the father of the bride pays for the entire wedding. Even if you stick to your budget, be aware of how expensive they can be.
According to a Brides and Investopedia survey, nine out of 10 respondents said they've put off at least one major financial priority, like saving for a house, starting a family, or saving for retirement, in order to pay for their wedding. Sticking to a wedding budget can be harder than it sounds.
You then have to choose whether to go into debt, scale back your expectations, or get creative—or do a bit of all three. Does the wedding have to be on a Saturday? Do you really need to have guests? Decisions about what to spend on wedding and engagement rings are also important. Ultimately, wearing a band on your ring finger is a symbol of commitment. And those rings, depending on the jewels, can be way pricier.
You can have a family heirloom ring resized or reset, opt for traditional gold and diamonds or a modern alternative, shop at a major jewelry store, or use an independent jeweler who does custom work. Getting married has not only emotional benefits but also a lot of financial ones.
The financial benefits can include reduced housing costs, savings on health insurance, and lower car insurance premiums. These savings, in turn, can increase short- and long-term financial stability by providing cash for emergencies and the means to save for retirement.
Married couples often establish new joint checking and savings accounts and may want to add their new spouse as a joint owner on existing accounts.
Some use a combination of strategies. Shortly after the wedding is also a good time to update account beneficiaries. Because of the legal and financial ties that marriage creates, financial openness and honesty in your relationship are more important than ever.
If one partner blows the household budget, for instance, then owning up to it, not hiding it, is the best way to move forward—as hard as that may be to do. Honesty will allow you, as a couple, to discuss the circumstances that led to the situation, the best strategy for damage control, and how a similar issue can be prevented going forward.
There are dangers in these lopsided approaches. Can you ask him out on a date of something he used to enjoy doing? Honestly, ur husband sounds like the man of my dreams. I end up on my computer so he can stop talking about the outside world.
Jesus Christ! No wonder he spends all his time in front of the computer. I suggested this to our married group of friends for us to do, and as I was reading them I thought they seem more for newlyweds but the more I read I thought these are good for anyone. Visit The Shop.
What are you most excited about in our relationship during this season? If you could see two things change about me what would they be? What ways can I honor you more? What are your biggest fears about our relationship?
Are you dealing with anything that I can help you with currently? How can we improve our intimacy or take it to the next level? If you had three wishes to wish for our future, what would they be? What are a few ways I need to be more understanding?
What are a few ways you desire to see our finances improve? Otherwise, ironically, you end up limiting your intimacy with one another, not enhancing it. You can't be truly intimate with your mate without being in touch with the innermost parts of yourself, too. There are valid reasons for keeping a secret from your spouse. You shouldn't have to defend not revealing embarrassing or hurtful moments from your past.
It is possible that the secret involves someone else who asked that the story not be told. There are many couples who have been married for a long time who have personal secrets that they haven't shared with their spouses. The sense of space and the sense of a private part of oneself is important to many people.
If you have a secret that you think you should share, but you are unsure about it, look at your own physical responses when you are hiding the secret. If you are keeping a secret because you don't want to face responsibility, this can create problems in your marriage. Withholding facts or information your spouse needs to know in decision making is harmful manipulation.
Secrets that can hurt your marriage are ones concerning:. If you are going to share a secret or difficult issue with your spouse, note that the following times are not a good time to have important conversations:. Honesty and trust are vital to the success of a marriage. It's a thin line between what secrets are acceptable and which ones will haunt an individual and hurt a marriage. A partner who discovers that they have been directly lied to, given a half-truth, or not told critical information can feel an enormous sense of betrayal.
These betrayals can be hard to come back from and your partner may never feel a full sense of trust again. If this situation applies to you, the sooner you face it the better. If you begin to feel the distance in your marriage and think it may be the result of a secret, then it is time to consult a professional therapist. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life.
Finkenauer C, Hazam H. Disclosure and secrecy in marriage: Do both contribute to marital satisfaction? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
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